I am reading this book on teens (thanks Annie) called "Yes Your Teen is Crazy, Loving Your Kid Without Losing Your Mind" by Michael Bradley. Throughout the book, the author has excerpts from notes he's taken of patients he's seen in his career. There was one about a father and his teenage daughter where no matter what the daughter did, she and the father always fought. He wanted her to respect him, even though she did the things he asked of her, they'd still fight. Turns out, she *liked* the challenge of getting in the last word, and he'd never go for that, so like a child himself, he'd keep arguing with her. It sounds just like my husband and oldest daughter. I read it to him and said, "this sounds like you two"....he said I was full of bull$%!&. So I had Ashley read it (she wasn't in the room when I read it to him), and she said "yep, that's me and dad". My friend came over, she said the same thing. Obviously, my husband has no idea how he acts with the kids. He really doesn't seem to understand when to stop. Our kids are basically good kids who do what they are supposed to. He always finds a reason to argue with them.....therefore, I'm going to assume he's blind.....deaf.....or dumb, because he can't see what he's doing!
2 comments:
Melony's post is certainly thought-provoking, and I've actually lived with that kind of mindset for over 16 years since my dh had cancer.
That said, keep nudging your dh. See if you can't get him to read the whole book. Knowing that our loved ones could be taken away any time seems like a reason to make that time the best it can be, not to listen to putdowns and arguments.
I'm glad you picked up the book! Yeah, keep nudging. You never know, even though he doesn't see it now, maybe now that you've pointed it out something might click next time there's an argument. And it's definitely good to keep Ashley involved with that... it takes two! (hi Ashley...)
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